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Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005
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Thursday, August 25th, 2005
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6 year difference. he could tell and tell night after night, but there will be so much i never hear. 6 year difference, a child who can tie its shoes, ride it's bike, and it knows it's a b c's by heart. He's in the city right now. and thank heavens he's broke. or else he'd be in love. I'm feeling awfully greedy. Everyone is soon leaving-or allready has. I'm trying to soak up all that is ohio, all who is ohio, while i am still in ohio. my family will be moving to arizona at the drop of a hat. i have no reference to plan around. no time frame. i have to watch my breathing. i have to let my thoughts slip through my brain. i have to tell myself that nothing in this world is permanent.
aw shucks. =[
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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i was in the restroom out back made of marbled plastic. i'd been in it so many times i had everything memorized. [odd..last night we talked about your friend who joined the volleyball team and couldn't hold it.] the lid would not slide out from under me the lid was rubbing upon my genitalia the lid was emerald green between my pasty hairy thick and flabby scab covered legs. i woke up and ran to the rest room. i took off my underwear and hid it beneath the sink. i went back to sleep. took the said boy to the airport so he can learn how to be a rock star and kiss himself a talented beautiful well known young lady. [that's just my jelousy with a bad day behind it]
Hung up clothes and gave adivce on how to apear hip and fashionable. cool and differant. drove a boy and his broken bicycle home. he said "yeah, i'm a scenester. that's such a cop out. look at my beautiful house, the one with the porch light. the huge one. you move in such an intresting way. i like how tall you are. i like your long face. i like your long legs. bohemeian like. i didn't mean to imbarrass you. i'll see you saturday" when i stepped out of the car to help him with his stack of empty boxes i had blood running down my legs building up behind my knees.
my case has been dropped. if you see ames--his has as well.
but children services doesn't trust my parents.
i'm begining to hear music for what it it.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, August 6th, 2005
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| Time: | 2:11 pm. |
| Mood: |  loved. | | Music: | the zombies. |
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good day thus far: 6:45 [am] alarm clock. 30 minute hug. 2 hours meditation. 44 minutes parking meter. $11.09 happy greek. 3 miles his hand on my gas-pedal leg. he leaves me with the shortest kiss. 2:25, 2:31, [pm] he calls me from the zombies show, so that i can listen as well.
:]
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| Time: | 3:34 pm. |
| Mood: | gross. |
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The filming is all complete. editing will hopefully take place soon. but i know nothing about editing. at all. we couldn't watch the footage, for the tapes were somewhere else. i got stoned with my boyfriends roomate. counted change for 7 hours. garlic and onion kings pizza. i laughed so hard my throat was bleeding. everything tasted so salty. he seemed so fucking gay. he took my pants off for me while i was sleeping. my face is horrific. my body is sore. my eyes are either shrinking or enlarging, i can not tell. the moral of the story is: don't look for me if you don't want to find me.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 1:31 am. |
| Mood: |  crazy. |
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i feel like bragging:
his jaw structure is impeccable. the space hits his face like you wouldn't belive. he looks at me. his vocal cords make the most amazing noises. his hands really know how to bang the tabla. we hug for 30minutes. he discovered what pitch resonates in my tunnel. smells good. masterbates in the bathroom when need be!!! bought me two 45s! he shook his booty when blowfly sung me a song. he doesn't kill flys or spiders or any sort of insects. he respects life. he's won my love. god damn. he's so brilliant.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 1:23 am. |
| Mood: | the lovin' mood. |
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i'm so glad he eats doughnuts when he's sad.
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i need a coffin by the 30th!!!!
p.s. tunnel music is the best music of all music. i'm loving myself a boy. meghan is raving in canada[were shooting our film the 30th.. if we get a casket by then, we will need extras who can weep and ramble on about what a great gal she was and how unfortunate is is that she died so young for our funeral shot] i had a dream about lauren purje (incorrect spelling?) and i miss seeing all the hip worthington kids.
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
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as to not forget i sketched out scenes a,g,m,r,z.
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i think (and i'm assured) that everything is going to be okay. i wasn't in the wrong. so, i shouldn't be punished... ?
court date: june 10. same day as my brother, same day as james.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, April 28th, 2005
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My love for my self is of immense proportions. <3the blood veins on my chest, the feeling of my fatty arse through the pockets of my jeans, what's on the opposite side of my eye-lids, my fingers secured between the knuckles of the other hand, the clumps of matted hair on the back of my head. i find ways to disquise///>hide my beauty i most adore in order to seek the adoration of others. what i receive is not what i desire, but rather a detached impersonal ego-boost. and what i desire--the elite of the crowd.who will return, tease me with his presence (completely unaware of mine) only to escape to germany as to expand his philosophical knowledge.
and that one man.. who wrote constantly about anything about everything/nothing he was right. is right.. it's not the money but the love for money that is the root of all evil. I was pulling weeds for my mother today, and i plucked a tulip from the ground.. i tried to replant it. but now it's falling over.. nearly touching the ground, i'm sure it will be dead by tomorrow. ..The rabbits are back. i thought that the end of the world was coming this time last year. there are so many rabbits here. noun and phil noun and phil. i'm wondering what everybody would say if they knew what i think of them.
maybe, i could grow to love my faulty vagina.
[i'm moving to arizona in january]
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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my sore/poor back,caitlin <3's blueprint, buckethead has got the moves, schizophrenic nick thinks that somebody else is trying to kill him, iwill and his mad hip-hop/film industry creditials, kat the compulsive liar + hair dying extrodinare, josh rea, ryan still hasn't developed his film, john and robin + pumkin pie, my brother is back in town, my dad is back in town. my mom is still livin' it up in las vegas. my sister is a rat. + to those of you who aren't aware.. i have a tan.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, January 30th, 2005
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Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
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beautiful,under the most brutal light. glowing,flowing,growing. the fingers will tremble from what the eyes reveal. oh. and you smile. my testimony,it's nothing legible, it's nothing real.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, January 16th, 2005
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to my four ladies: i am madly in love with you.
you're so young.. you're so young...so young, so young. how strange! i end up on your side of town. on your door.. under a bridge, sparklers in hand, you by my side. and on the day, your special day...18 today. what's an hour next to two years.. when it takes so much courage to get up and leave.?
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Tuesday, January 11th, 2005
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the thought:has never crossed my mind>>>><that it would be nessicary to defend myself from friends.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, January 4th, 2005
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decided: i will not finish my painting in one night just to please my art teacher.
i found a notebook today at work, filled with rantings on the human nature of questioning. i wrote/drew a little on the unused backsides of the paper. and then put it back where i found it. i think that i know who the journal belongs to.
+ i received a mix tape from the boy who i think wrote in the journal.
- my toilet flooded the hallway.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, January 1st, 2005
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so...haha!!!
and then...hahaha!!!
like o m g ....hahahhaha!!!
Do you know charlie?
...
I really think you should meet charlie.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, December 29th, 2004
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so blitzed.,...___
sucking face with a vomit coated mouth.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, December 26th, 2004
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your story involves regurgitated excitement
your story came with ease
to you a young lady seemed such a simple escape
yet she granted no reprieve
your idle aversions further trap you in an exasperated storyline./
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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